Funny quotes

Well, it's time to teach the neighbors what good music is.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presely

I want to do a musical movie. Like Evita, but with good music. - Elton John

When I was kidnapped my parents sprang into action: they put my room up for rent.

I think that animal testing is horrible. They get nervous and make mistakes.

Men are like bank accounts. If they don't have a ton of money they don't generate any interst.

I told my doctor that my leg had broken in two places and he told me to avoid those places.

Everyone has a right to their own opinion. But yours is just stupid.

Always forgive your enemies. There's nothing they hate more.

The only normal people are the ones you don't know well.

Women are like your shadow: if you run they follow, if you follow they run.

My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go she goes shopping.

If a little bird tells you that you're crazy, you must be, because birds don't talk.

"You're the only woman for me!" - Adam

I once read that playing video games is bad, so I decided to stop reading.

The bad thing about being on time is that there is no one there to appreciate it.

Don't get mad…get revenge!

If you see that everyone is against you, don't give up! Kill them all!

Act, and you shall have dinner; wait, and you shall be dinner. - Klingon Proverb