Beware of advice.
Writer's Block: When even your imaginary friends won't talk to you.
Always, always, always avoid redundancy.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
There are two typos of people in this world: those who can edit, and those who can't.
People who think they know everything are anoying to those of us who do.
I hate chores. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
Hard work fascinates me. I can sit back and watch it for hours.
Daddy works to make money to buy me toys.
I'm trying to be nice. But it's not working.
Another day has passed and I didn't use algebra once.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. -Albert Einstein
Math: If it seems easy, you're doing it wrong.
I'm a gamer, like my father before me.
Once upon a time, there were things more important than video games.
Video Games: Improving Hand Eye Coordination since 1971
This shirt is only blue when orcs are nearby.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Work is for people who don't know how to play video games.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
As a woman my wife doesn't always know exactly what she wants, but she knows she's going to be mad as hell if she doesn't get it.
Every warning label has an awesome backstory.
I'm running out of unproductive things to do at work.
Ever notice that the roof of your car is the worst cup holder ever?
How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words?
There's a lot to be said for being a man of few words.
NASA would be a lot more popular if once in a while they'd fight some Klingons.
My older sister is tired of me calling her the beta release.
I see these moms who can do everything and I think… I should have them do some stuff for me.
Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.
My life has been a "rags to slightly better rags" story.
I quite like all of them. Except for the beta one; I don't understand it.
ReplyDeleteWith computer software there is usually a version that comes out before the official version is released. This preliminary version is called the Beta version and it is released so that test users can help identify bugs in the system. That way everything can be worked out and nice and neat for the official release of the final product. :-)
ReplyDeleteSo really, Jessica was the first beta release. But there were so many issues with that version, they had to release a second beta version. And after that, all the bugs were fixed, and then came me! Number three!
ReplyDeletelol, well, technically Jessica could be the Alpha version and I could be the Beta version I suppose. (An Alpha version is never released to the general public, it is tested in-house.)
ReplyDeleteRe: alpha.
ReplyDeleteThat bad, huh? ;-)
HEY!! :op
ReplyDeleteI'm a gamer, like my father before me. I like this one!! The kids left of cup of soda on the shelf above the xbox, is magically fell over, the soda landed on the xbox, went right into the vent on top, and now the xbox doesn't work. Groan...
ReplyDeleteThat sucks! Would you like your old one back? (You need it more than I do.)
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